2022.01.28 06:17 sadanddistant My spouse (24NB) and I (25F) don't have anything in common anymore.
This might be long because there's more than a few problems, but I'm having a bad night and I need to get this all off my chest. Throwaway because my main isn't supposed to be this personal.
My wife (who is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns but prefers this title still) and I just.... haven't been doing well lately. I've been blaming it on Pandemic stress, but in reality I think the changes the pandemic has cause have just pushed us in different directions.
We met in college, literally week two of our freshman year. We were only friends for a couple of weeks, but then we both liked each other and we were excited and it was new so we started dating. A couple months after that I had to drop out, and I moved back home for a few months but we maintained our relationship over skype. When I was finally able to move back, I stayed with family for a few more months before their dorm lease expired and we could move in together. We moved in with another couple of friends, and we've basically done that ever since. It's been 5 and a half years since we first met, and honestly we're both very aware that we went a little fast. We've never had time to be our own people, and we both acknowledge that's something we need to fix, but we just. Don't know how while maintaining the relationship.
We're both polyamorous and agree that a relationship should be more about being support for the other than being the end all be all pillar in the other's life. This is fine with both of us, I have a LDR girlfriend and they have a couple of close FWBs, and neither of us is jealous or takes issue with this.
The problem is that lately we've just.... had nothing to talk about. We're getting along more with our other partners, to the point there's no time and energy left for each other. And it's hard to put time for each other aside when it feels like climbing a mountain just to have fun with the other person. We used to sit together and watch shows, and we'd talk about our favorite characters and we'd play games together etc. But lately we just haven't had any time whatsoever. They work a morning job and I'm a freelancer with a night schedule. They're an extrovert and I get overwhelmed if we go out too much. They're eclectic and have ever changing passions and sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with them. I don't know how to put time aside for something that drains all of my energy, especially when it
I've tried to explain that I don't feel connected with them anymore and that I want us to have shared interests again but they took it to mean I wanted them to just like whatever it is I like without having their own interests at all. Which isn't true, I love them, I love their interests, but they overwhelm me and I don't know how to participate with them.
There's more problems than this of course.
We're both over worked and stressed about money all the time. They have spending problems and I always have to be the bad guy and beg them not to purchase more things, and it always makes me feel terrible.
I have a hard time with self esteem and asking for help. They often don't have the energy to deal with my moodswings because of how stubborn I am when it comes to believing I deserve anything.
I don't deal with change well and they're all about change all the time. We both have ADHD and I suspect I'm also autistic, and it feels like so many of our problems boil down to our mental illness and disorders butting heads, but I hate blaming it all on that.
Every time we try to talk about any of this everything falls apart. We've mentioned divorce multiple times but every time it comes up we both get too overwhelmed and emotional to deal with it and the next day we pretend it never happened.
Two weeks ago, they caught covid and so we had to quarantine them in the bedroom. We live with two roommates, and it was a stress on all of us. My work area is in the living room anyways so I've been sleeping on the couch. The time apart... feels like it's cracked our already fractured relationship. We barely talked while they were locked up. They rearranged the bedroom since it was something to do, but now I don't feel welcome anymore. We had already agreed that the bedroom was their space since I had my desk area, but... taking up so much communal space is wearing on me and I feel like a burden to the whole household.
I broke down and tried to tell them I don't feel welcome and it turned into an entirely separate conversation about how I don't speak up when I need things and how I'm always letting my needs go by the wayside so that they can be happy and how it's not working anymore.
I don't know.
I emailed about 10 different therapists to look into couples counseling. I'm sleeping on the couch again.
I'm tired but I don't want to lose them. I don't know what to do. Ugh. I'm sorry this is so long.
TL;DR: Spouse and I don't get along anymore. I miss them.
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2022.01.28 06:17 LANTRINHFD New Market, Ngo Gia Tu Street, Nha Trang - KHANH HOA
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2022.01.28 06:17 mycketforvirrad Sveriges Radio: Synskadade Maria och Reines färdtjänst försvann – prövas nu i rätten.
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2022.01.28 06:17 Lezzudis Lost all my pokemon?
2022.01.28 06:17 DeadLiftNMetal First joint I rolled last saturday. Yay or nay.
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2022.01.28 06:17 pmr57 Not gonna lie. Big FOMO here. No research. Get your $TONIC. Be patient and let’s roll 🤪💰
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2022.01.28 06:17 snkde STARBURST All Pink Limited Edition Fruit Chew Candy 15.6-Ounce Pouch (Pack of 6) Nearly 6lbs - Amazon.com (SS & Coupon) - $13.99
|submitted by snkde to Deals_US [link] [comments]|
2022.01.28 06:17 WarriorkingNL Orkun Köckü is Eredivisie POTM
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2022.01.28 06:17 Mother_Ad5482 Firewall price|Firewall dealers|Latest Firewall models Price List|india|chennai|hyderabad|kerala|bangalore
2022.01.28 06:17 Sensitive_Act_1090 Opinião
Honda CIVIC - 1.6 I-DTEC 120 ELEGANCE NAVI HA 88 KW (120 CV), Gasoleo, Manual,2018
O que acham deste carro malta? Durante a semana para fazer 200km em nacional e cidade e fim-de-semana 200/300 km em AE praticamente
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2022.01.28 06:17 MCYolovic Logitech driving force not working properly
I just downloaded forza horizon 4 and plugged my steering wheel, when i move it even a little bit it moves 180 degrees. Wheel works on project cars 2. Model is Logitech driving force EX.
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2022.01.28 06:17 jobsinanywhere SYL vs MGD Dream11 Prediction, Fantasy Cricket Tips, Dream11 Team, Playing XI, Pitch Report, Injury Update- Bangladesh T20 League
2022.01.28 06:17 michelleDeko How can I synchronize my cloud save?
Hello, yesterday I started to play the game. It got saved succesfully and today I wanted to continue playing on my Notebook. But now I have the problem, that my save file just doesnt show up in the game. I can only start a new game, not continue my existing one. I use the Epic Store Version. Cloud Save is enabled on both PCs
How can I synchronize my save file now?
submitted by michelleDeko to DaemonXMachina [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 06:17 jemimahaste How do you get better at faking excitement for bad gifts?
There's a running joke amongst my family and friends that if I don't like a gift I have received, it is as plain as the nose on my face, even when I try so desperately to play off that I really like it. It makes me feel like such as asshole and I want to stop ruining the vibe at birthdays and Christmas. I have already suggested that my family and friends just ask me what I want but surprise is a big factor where I live. What can I do?
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2022.01.28 06:17 Reasonable_Pay9317 If you could be in any tv show or movie what would be in?
2022.01.28 06:17 Prosefg Just wanted to share my fav print.
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2022.01.28 06:17 Deulski Been at a low for a few years, got a new job today and had a superbowl champion buy my drinks tonight
I've not been doing well for a few years; I've worked on myself for a little while and finally landed a new job today. I'd like to think it's been a long time coming with how much work I've been putting in. Tonight I finally felt proud enough to go out and celebrate at some of my favourite places. I've known for a long time that a superbowl champ and household name has owned one of my favourite bars: What I didn't expect was that he'd be out drinking at his own bar on a random Thursday night. Not only did I land a new job today but met a football legend who said: "You know what? Your story is awesome! I'm buying your drinks tonight!"
Keep working on you, keep trying to get better: It might not be instant, and it might not be expected, but the world takes notice eventually.
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2022.01.28 06:17 ujjwalus7 aalo tha cheel diya 🅱️2A tha cheer diya
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2022.01.28 06:17 FrolickingLamb Limited Time (I think) free ‘20 Answers’ Abortion booklet from Catholic Answers
Hey y’all, feel free to go have a look but currently Catholic Answers has a ‘20 Answers: Abortion’ booklet free for download on their website.
I’ve linked it here
If you’re Catholic or even if you’re not, it’ll probably be helpful in the near future.
Description: “20 Answers: Abortion will deepen your understanding of this critical moral issue, and give you the knowledge you need to explain it to others.”
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2022.01.28 06:17 darkath I fixed the reapers guys
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2022.01.28 06:17 RoyalMannequin If you could import any other video game map into Warzone which would you choose?
Considering how many people dislike Caldera I thought this might be a fun question to discuss.
If you could bring COD operators, guns, mechanics, etc. over to another game’s map to play battle royale on, which map would you choose?
Personally, I’d choose the Red Dead Redemption map. Keep the train, carriages and horses as the only modes of transportation and let all the anime operators, ghostfaces, Rambos have at it in the west. Hell keep the animal spawns to, to keep things interesting! You saw movement? Nah, it was just an elk but watch out for the Bears. Grizzly bears would be the new Krampus.
There’s a lot of great maps out there; which would you choose?
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2022.01.28 06:17 blorcsharc Out of patience with year and a half year labrador
i’ve had my dog for about 3-4 months now, and I love him. he’s recently learned, however, to hold his poops in while i’m walking him, to get as much walking time as possible. I try to walk him three times a day, until recently. he started holding his poops too long, and now, just won’t poop while walking. he comes inside and immediately starts whining to go back out because he didn’t poop because he was trying to squeeze every damn second out of his walk. and it’s not like I deprive him these are 20 minute walks, i’m tired of it, it’s like a woman’s games and he’s an animal for christs sakes. i’m either going to let him just hold his poops and facing the consequences of his actions until he learns to poop sooner, i’ll clean it up if he goes on the floor, and obviously not hold him accountable for that. or i’ll just take him back to the kill shelter that I got him from. just need some tips.
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2022.01.28 06:17 TheAshCohen09_ Uncharted PS5 upgrade question
Do you need to have the uncharted 4 installed if you are doing the upgrade via the disc? Or can you just put the disc in, not have it installed and get the £10 upgrade? Or do you have to install uncharted 4 first and then it will appear with the upgrade?
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2022.01.28 06:17 mr_kaustik This show helped me to talk to people.
I was an awkward child for many years, and still am by some accounts. At some point eating alone in the cafeteria transitioned into a daily 30 minute trivia game 100% focused on this show. I have no recollection on how exactly that happened.
To me it was just the best thing on TV to watch while eating dinner. It was not a show I was endlessly babbling about, but there I was surrounded by popular types who wanted to talk with me, of all people.
In those times I had no clue about humans and socializing, so I completely missed the cues that should have told me "Hey dude, this young woman is into you". The conversations, however, did bring me to a point where I felt comfortable simply talking with other humans.
All these years later I still like to laugh at myself about that. Obviously I missed the bus a bit, so to speak. For me this is a really good memory and I hope you fine folks don't mind my sharing.
Best wishes to every single one of you.
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2022.01.28 06:17 kpblm_info 214 Wheel Rd, Incline Village
214 Wheel Rd, Incline Village https://8ho.tel/214-wheel-rd-incline-village/ 214 Wheel Rd is located in Incline Village, just 21 miles from Reno. South Lake Tahoe is 21 miles away. The accommodation is fitted with a TV. There is also a kitchen, equipped with an oven and microwave. Incline Village, 89451, United States of America
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